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Sri Aurobindo saw more clearly. He said - it was even the first thing
he told the boys around him when I came in 1914 (he had only seen me
once) - he told them that I, Mirra (he immediately called me by my first
name), 'was born free.'
And it's true, I know it, I knew it then. In other words, all
this work that usually has to be done to become free was done
beforehand, long ago - quite convenient!
He saw me the next day for half an hour. I sat down - it was on the verandah
of the 'Guest House', I was sitting there on the verandah. There was a table in
front of him, and Richard was on the other side facing him. They began talking.
Myself, I was seated at his feet, very small, with the table just in front of me - it came to my forehead, which gave me a little protection ... I didn't say anything, I didn't think anything, try anything, want anything - I merely sat near him. When I stood up half an hour later, he had put silence in my head, that's all, without my even having asked him - perhaps even without his trying. Oh, I had tried - for years I had tried to catch silence in my head ... I never succeeded. I could detach myself from it, but it would keep on turning ... But at that moment, all the mental constructions, all the mental, speculative structures ... none of it remained - a big hole. And such a peaceful, such a luminous hole! Afterwards, I kept very still so as not to disturb it. I didn't speak, above all I refrained from thinking and held it, held it tight against me - I said to myself, 'make it last, make it last, make it last ... ' Later on, I heard Sri Aurobindo saying that there were two people here to whom he had done this and as soon as there was silence, they panicked: 'My God, I've gone stupid!!' And they threw it all overboard by starting to think again. Once it was done, it was done. It was well-rooted. For years, from 1912 to 1914, I did endless exercises, all kinds of things, even pranayama' - if it would only shut up! Really, if it would only be quiet! ... I was able to go out (that wasn't difficult), but inside it kept turning. This lasted about half an hour. I quietly remained there - I heard the noise of their conversation, but I wasn't listening. And then when I got up, I no longer knew anything, I no longer thought anything, I no longer had any mental construction - everything was gone, absolutely gone, blank! - as if I had just been born. page 421-22 , Mother's Agenda , volume - 1, 20 sept. 1960 |
the Master of the world, was the Lord of Falsehood; Richard was an emanation, a vibhuti, [[Indian tradition makes a distinction between a direct 'incarnation' (avatar) and a simple 'emanation' (vibhuti) coming from the consciousness of a god - or a devil. ]] as they say in India, of this Asura. page 367 - Mother's Agenda, volume 2, 5th Nov. - 1961 |
He was a pastor at Lille, in France, for perhaps ten years; he was
quite a practicing Christian, but he dropped it all as soon as he began
to study occultism. He had first specialized in theological philosophy
in order to pass the pastoral examinations, studying all the modem
philosophy of Europe (he had a rather remarkable metaphysical brain).
Then I met him in connection with Theon and the Cosmic Review, and
I led him into occult knowledge. Afterwards, there were all sorts of
uninteresting stories.... He became a lawyer during the early period of
our relationship and I learned Law along with him - I could even have
passed the exam! Then the divorce stories began: he divorced his wife;
they had three children and he wanted to keep them, but to do so he had
to be legally married, so he asked me to marry him - and I said yes. I
have always been totally indifferent to these things. Anyway, when I met
him I knew who he was and I decided to convert him - the whole story
revolves around that.
As a matter of fact, the books he wrote (especially the first
one, The Living Ether) were based on my knowledge; he put my
knowledge into French - and beautiful French, I must say! I would tell
him my experiences and he would write them down. Later he wrote The Gods
(it was incomplete, one-sided). Then he became a lawyer and entered
politics (he was a first-class orator and fired his audiences with
enthusiasm) and was sent to Pondicherry to help a certain candidate who
couldn't manage his election campaign single-handed. And since Richard
was interested in occultism and spirituality, he took this opportunity to seek a 'Master,' a
yogi. When he arrived, instead of involving himself in politics, the
first thing he did was announce, 'I am seeking a yogi.' Someone said to
him, 'You're incredibly lucky! The yogi has just arrived.' It was Sri
Aurobindo, who was told, 'There's a Frenchman asking to see you....' Sri
Aurobindo wasn't particularly pleased but he found the coincidence
rather interesting and received him. This was in 1910.
When Richard had finished his work, he returned to France with a
poor photograph of Sri Aurobindo and a completely superficial impression
of him, yet with the feeling that Sri Aurobindo KNEW (he hadn't at all
understood the man that Sri Aurobindo was, he hadn't felt the presence
of an Avatar, but he had sensed that he had knowledge). Moreover, I
think he always held this opinion, because he used to say that Sri
Aurobindo was a unique intellectual giant ... without many spiritual
realizations! (The same type of stupidity as Romain Rolland's.) Well, my
relationship with Richard was on an occult plane, you see, and it's
difficult to touch upon. What happened was far more exciting than any
novel imaginable.
But he was a man who....
He isn't dead and he's still terribly dangerous because of what's
behind him [the Lord of Falsehood].
You didn't record that, did you?
Yes.Ah, no! It must all be erased. Simply put a note in your book: 'Paul Richard, who met Sri Aurobindo for the first time in 1910....' And you can mention that he was a theological writer or something of the sort to explain how he prompted Sri Aurobindo to write. When he returned, he told me he would take me there as soon as he could. The A rya began in June 1914, and the first issue was scheduled to come out on August 15, Sri Aurobindo's birthday; and the war broke out before the first issue appeared - on August 3, I believe - a very interesting point. June 21 was Paul Richard's birthday, [[On June 28, Archduke Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated at Sarajevo. ]] so on that day we announced the coming publication of the A rya and that the first issue would appear on August 15. Between June 21 and August 15, the war broke out. But since everything was ready we went ahead and published it. I wrote in my book that Paul Richard intended to bring out simultaneously in Paris a 'Review of the Great Synthesis.' Is this true? [[Satprem no longer remembers the source of this false information. ]]No, it's not true! This was never intended, never! The Arya was bilingual, one part in French and one in English, but it was one and the same magazine published here in Pondicherry. There was never any question of publishing anything in France; this is incorrect, entirely false - a myth. Besides, it was I who translated the English into French, and rather poorly at that! I have noticed that as soon as one speaks of Richard one is unwittingly led to tell lies. That's why I am so terribly careful to avoid the subject. The first issue began with The Wherefore of the Worlds (the English following the French), and in it Richard attributed the origin of the world to Desire. They were in perpetual disagreement on this subject, Richard saying, 'It is Desire,' and Sri Aurobindo, 'The initial force of the Manifestation is Joy.' Then Richard would say, 'God DESIRED to know Himself,' and Sri Aurobindo, 'No, God had the joy of knowing Himself.' And it went on and on like that! When Richard went to Japan, he sent his manuscripts to Sri Aurobindo, including The Wherefore of the Worlds and The Eternal Wisdom, and Sri Aurobindo continued to translate them into English. Frankly, it was a relief for Sri Aurobindo when we left; he even wrote to someone or other (but in a totally superficial way) that Richard's departure was a great relief for him. When we returned to France, Richard got himself declared unfit for military service on health grounds - a yogic heart ailment! But life in France was impossible; and my presence there was dangerous because monstrous things were going on, monstrous; as Sri Aurobindo said, my sitting at home all alone was generating revolutions - armies were revolting. [[Mother is alluding to the following aphorism of Sri Aurobindo: 'If when thou sittest alone, still and voiceless on the mountain-top, thou canst perceive the revolutions thou art conducting, then hast thou the divine vision and art freed from appearances.' This aphorism is completed by another: 'If when thou art doing great actions and moving giant results, thou canst perceive that THOU art doing nothing, then know that God has removed His seal on thy eyelids.' (Cent. Ed., Vol. XVII, p. 92) ]] I saw that happening and I didn't want the Germans to win, which would have been even worse, so I said, 'I had better go.' Then Richard managed to have himself sent to Japan on business (an admirable feat!), representing certain companies. People didn't want to travel because it was dangerous - you risked being sunk to the bottom of the sea; so they were pleased when we offered and sent us to Japan. Once there (this would also make a great novel), Richard continued writing and sending his manuscripts to Sri Aurobindo. Finally, when the Peace Treaty was signed and it was possible to travel, the English said that if we tried to return to India they would throw us in jail! But it all worked out miraculously, almost becoming a 'diplomatic incident': the Japanese government decided that if we were put in prison they would protest to the British government! (What a story - I could write novels!) In short, Richard returned here with me. And that's when the tragi-comedy began.... I will tell you about it one day - fantastic! It was certainly Sri Aurobindo's power that made Richard decide to leave. For twelve years I had been Richard's 'guru' (that's where our relationship stood), but I hadn't succeeded in converting him, and when we came back here I said, 'I'm through with it. I've tried and I've failed. I've failed completely. Ask Sri Aurobindo.' When Sri Aurobindo took him in hand, that was another story.... He couldn't take it - he left. But the whole affair was diabolic, you know; it had turned into something fantastic. Finally he left. This man clearly led a rather loose life. Right after he left here he spent some time in the Himalayas and became a Sannyasi. Then he went to France and from France to England. In England he married again - bigamy! I didn't care, of course (the less he showed up in my life, the better), but he was in a fix! One day I suddenly received some official letters from a lawyer telling me I had 'initiated divorce proceedings against Richard.' it seems I had a lawyer over there! A lawyer I had never asked for, whose name I didn't know, a lawyer I didn't even know existed - 'my lawyer'! The trial was taking place at Nice, and 'I' was accusing Richard of abandoning me without any means of support! (That was nothing new - I had paid all the expenses from the first day we met! But anyway .... ) Naturally, he couldn't plead that he was a bigamist; nor could he have me accuse him of being a bigamist, because it was true! So it seemed he hadn't been paying my expenses; but then I wasn't claiming anything from him in the case, no alimony - a little incoherent, all that.... After a few months I was finally informed that I was divorced, which was rather convenient for me as far as the bank was concerned. I had a marriage contract stipulating that our properties were separate; since I was the one with the money (he had nothing), I wanted to be free to do with it as I pleased. But the French were impossible in such matters: the woman was considered the minor party, so even if the money was the wife's and not the husband's, she couldn't withdraw it without his authorization. I don't know if it's still like that, but in those days the husband always had to countersign - an annoying situation! I got around this in Japan (the banker there found the rule stupid and told me to ignore it), but the bank here can be a pain in the neck, so it was good to get this cleared up. He remarried two or three more times. By now (I believe) he is the father of quite a large family, with grandchildren and perhaps great-grandchildren. He lives in America. Someone once told me he was dead, but I could sense that he wasn't. Then, out of the blue, E. arrived, full of admiration, telling me she had met Richard and how stunningly he could preach to people.... He had quite a life, you know! I don't like to talk about these things, though - they don't interest me. As Sri Aurobindo said, I lived my whole life absolutely free. I watched myself living through events like watching a movie. I had an inner vision, an inner will, and my inner reason for doing things was an Order received, an Order I was conscious of; but outwardly - fantastic! ... Naturally - how else could it have been? Here 'in Pondicherry, those last days might have become tragic (but of course it was impossible). There was the great argument (for he was perfectly aware of who I was): 'But after all,' he would tell me, 'since you are the eternal Mother, why have you chosen Aurobindo as Avatar? Choose me! You must choose me - me!' It was the Asura speaking through him. I would smile and not discuss it. 'That's not how it's done!' I would tell him (laughing). Then one day he said, 'Ah, so you don't want to.... (gesture to the throat) Well, if you don't choose me, then....' He was a strong fellow with powerful hands. I kept quite calm and said inwardly, My Lord, my Lord.... I called Sri Aurobindo and I saw him come, like that (gesture enveloping Mother and immobilizing everything). Then Richard's hands loosened their grip. There were marks on my neck. A few days later, it was the same scene again. It was always the same scene.... Then he would take the furniture (it wasn't ours, we had rented a furnished apartment) and start throwing it out the window into the courtyard! page 368-72 - Mother's Agenda, volume 2, 5th Nov. - 1961 |